06.09.2010 | 9:56pm
Currently watching: Q&A with Christine Milne and her chamomile lawn, and Bob Katter with his absence of huge hat.
No picture today, I can't be bothered.
Well today has been very up and down. Ax is still very sick and that's made me a bit miserable, so let's escape from that with Tales Of WOE from the Melbourne CBD.
I had my coffee training at Pie Face today. All was well, and I learnt to make coffee like a tiger. Then I left, and I thought:
"hmm, I know, I'll head up to Max Brenner and get some hot chocolate to take home and surprise Ax with. That'll be nice!"
Let's not forget here that I don't even know where Max Brenner IS. But I seemed to find it in the end. Perhaps I have some sort of homing device for chocolate implanted in me. I don't actually know. But as it happened, IT WAS FUCKING CLOSED. AHJFHEUIHkf. So then I stomped outside and realised it was raining.
"Oh, it's raining! Let me put up my umb- ohshit."
Umbrella was nestling in the warmth and safety of Pie Face. Fucking hell, back to Elizabeth St I go. I retrieved said umbrella, by which time it had stopped raining. At least I scored a free dinner out of this foray - steak and pepper pie, lemon pie and cheese stick. *cum*
Anyway, time to go back to the tram now. Oh shit, that's it isn't it? Just there. Perfect timing ... if I wasn't on the OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD. Raaaaahhshdgfu! So I made some mad dash and nearly got killed by a bus and ran along next to the tram and looked like a right idiot, and no, of course it didn't stop!
By this time, it had started to rain again.
With nine minutes until the next tram, I thought that I would walk up one stop, because it had a shelter and I didn't want to drown and die and drown. It looked easy. But NO, I had forgotten to factor in the Roundabout Of Death And Woe. Again, I indulged in some inexperienced jaywalking and nearly died about twelve times. I think you need to have lived in Melbourne for some time before you can just casually stroll through 15454725436 lanes of traffic. Anyway, I somehow managed to make it to the tram stop. I had just missed the 6:37 tram, and apparently one was due at 6:51. But no, it showed up at 6:45. Well fuck you too, timetable!
But that's ok. I'm home, alive and I now know that I shouldn't be let out in Melbourne without adequate supervision. Thank you for your time.